Journey Of Change Advanced Course
Content level: Intermediate
Ideally the trainee works with couples currently and has attended either the Keeping or Getting Workshop so they understand mirroring
Imago Master Trainer, Maya Kollman, and Senior Clinical Instructor, Sophie Slade, developed this course a few years ago when they were grappling with the challenges that couples face when trying to make the changes they have committed to in the Behavior Change Request Dialogue. Sophie and Maya had noticed, as had others, that despite the good intentions and beautiful work couples do during the BCR dialogue, they often do not follow through with the new behaviors. This course addresses the difficulties that result from couples needing to make some very significant shifts in their relationship in order to be successful. The nine shifts are
- From Certainty Toward Curiosity
- From Reactivity Toward Intentionality
- From Blaming Toward Self-Reflection
- From Symbiosis Toward Differentiation
- From Complaints Toward Requests
- From Negativity Toward Possibility
- From Individual Frustrations Toward the Relational Dance
- From Childhood Story Toward Adult Narratives
MAIN POINTS
- Guide participants through the nine essential shifts.
- Help participants know how to navigate the inevitable difficulties that face couples when they begin to change old patterns.
- Help participants discover the ways in which they block change from occurring because of their own character structure.
- Encourage participants to create communities of learning to enhance their skill levels.
- Help participants discover verbal and no verbal ways to create safe connection.
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
- Facilitate dialogues that help couples’ change their pattern.
- List the nine shifts that need to occur to bring about lasting change.
- Articulate the ways in which they block their own effectiveness with couples
- Create a growth plan to move forward.
- Restructure negative interactions into positive interactions with couples
- Identify symbiosis in couples and develop differentiation
- Integrate use of dialogue with couples to state what they want
- Deduce relational issues of frustrations
- Construct cohesive adult narrative from childhood narrative for couples
- Dramatize role-play of narrative into behaviors
- Transfer adult cohesive narrative into future vision of relationship
- Label defensive postures
- Transform blame into self-responsibility
- Transfer reactivity into useful intentionality for dialogue
- Recommend verbal and non-verbal ways to create a safe connection in relationship
DAY 1 SAMPLE AGENDA
- 9:00 – 10:00 Welcome, Centering, What is this course about?
- 10:00 – 10:45 Dyads for Day One
- 10:45 – 11:00 Process Dyads
- 11:00 – 11:15 Break
- 11:00 – 11:30 Lecture: Defensive Posture Exercise
- 11:30 – 11:45 Lecture: Introduce the shifts
- 11:45 – 1:00 Lecture: From Reactivity to Intentionality
- 1:00 – 2:30 Lunch
- 2:30 – 3:30 Lecture: From Blaming the other to looking at the Self
- 3:30 – 3:45 Process
- 3:45 – 4:00 Break
- 4:00 – 5:00 Lecture: From Focusing on the Negative to Enhancing the Positive
- 5:00 – 5:30 Wrap Up and New Learnings.
DAY 2 SAMPLE AGENDA
- 9:00 – 9:15 Centering: One world to describe what you are feeling.
- 9:15 – 9:30 Lecture: From Symbiosis to Differentiation: Embracing Difference
- 9:30 – 10:00 Demo: The Dialogue from Symbiosis to Differentiation
- 10:00 – 10:15 Process
- 10:15 – 10:30 Break
- 10:30 – 11:00 Lecture: Stating what you want rather than what you don’t want.
- 11:00 – 11:45 Demo: BCR with Giving and Receiving and Enactment
- 11:45 – 1:00 Practice BCR
- 1:00 – 2:30 Lunch
- 2:30 – 3:00 Lecture: From Frustration to Relational Issue
- 3:00 – 3:30 Demo: Dialogue
- 3:30 – 3:45 Break
- 3:45 – 4:30 Practice Dialogue
- 4:30 – 4:45 Process
- 4:45 – 5:00 Closing
DAY 3 SAMPLE AGENDA
- 9:00 – 9:30 Centering
- 9:30 – 10:00 Lecture: From Childhood Story to Cohesive Adult Narrative
- 10:00 – 10:30 Demo: Discovering the new narrative
- 10:30 – 11:30 Practice
- 11:30 – 11:45 Process
- 11:45 – 12:15 Lecture: From New Narrative to New Behavior
- 12:15 – 1:15 Lunch
- 1:15 – 1:45 Lecture: From Identifying New Behavior to Practicing It
- 1:45 – 2:30 Demo: Enactments
- 2:30 – 3:00 Vision of your Journey of Change Choose one to use at the Closing
- 3:00 – 3:30 Integration on page
- 3:30 – 4:30 Closing using one of the visions and how you plan to support the transformation